Flymeaway, aeroplanes up in the sky ♥

Saturday, July 18, 2009 ; 9:26 PM {♥}

ive decided.
i have set up my mind
to close th doors of my surroundings.
im going to stop having friends
best friends especially.
no matter how great eu treated me in th past,
im going to forget.
leave all my memories behind,
no matter pleasant or unpleasant,
good or bad,
happy or sad.
ill just treat eu as a normal being.
not anyone important to me anymore.
eu might not see my smile agn.
even th funniest jokes,
cant afford me to smile anymore.
onli some people can make me smile.
but they are so far away...
drifting away frm me slowly.
giving me no chance to say 'i love eu'
even if i love them,
they dont even noe me.
i might act as if nth had happen,
but deep inside,
its filled with hatred, jealousy, anger and sadness.
i cant afford to love once more,
or even make friends.
eu all have drove me to this extreme
i don even understand.
when eu r in th wrong am i suppose to say its me who's in th wrong??
eu call this friendship??
yeah...
wad great friends we are.
all i can say,
im closing my doors,
oblivious of wads happening to me and th earth.
i shant regret it
and i will not regret it.
my onli sunshine dont even noe me
or my name.
so wad for im living??
but ive vowed
to make my elders proud (esp eu tai ma)
i want to be th nxt Jolin Tsai and Lee Jun Ki and Kenji Wu Ke Qun and Taylor Swift.
i have to.
i have to force myself to this extreme,
to show all of eu i have capability.
and till dat tym,
im going to laugh at eu all.
serve eu all right for looking down on me.

beer is good for numbing your emotions.
but im underage
=.=
chilli is quite good for numbing my emotions.
yes.
im chewing on one red chilli now.

i want to go back to primary school days.
when i have wan ni, vanessa, yu ting, joel, janice, nhita, yihua, ben, guan hong, aloysious, yi en, alven, sharlene, wan ling, kang wei, and everyone in 4A and 6Int (except for Jo Tan)
i really want to go back.
go back to those days when we had so much fun, joy and laughter.
when all days we are happy.
sharing joy and sadness with our besties.
now?
there's no such word as besties.
its all bastards and bitches
and betrayers and bimbos
and backstabber.
and friends who runs off with other friend and neglect eu
cuz they have to same interest.
i want Tenjo Night!!
he will give me all th happiness i need.
shower me with care and love.
not like some friends.
or parents.
i want lee jun ki.
he's my role model all time.
he cares for others too.
too bad he doesnt noe me.
im really craving for some true love and real friendship.
i really nid it
until im tired of it.
too tired of it.
and immune to it.
im really tired.
very tired.
can eu just give me a space?
a space for me to rest.
im tired of this life, this wen xse, this 1 Chatterbox, this Kranji secondary School, this words family, caring, love, friends.
i hate eu all.

有人说：如果你不爱一个人，请放手，好让别人有机会爱她。有的东西你再喜欢也不会属于你的，有的东西你再留恋也注定要放弃。人生中有许多种爱，但别让爱成为一种伤害。我选择沉默。当一个男人为一个女的哭了，那说明他真的爱她。当一个女人为一个男人哭了，那说明她真的放弃了。如果你真的爱一个人，就珍惜她，不要让她伤心难过，这都对彼此有好处。

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